Sunday, 12 July 2015

Why Women Go Back To Bad Men

Instagram: Karrueche Tran
When recently asked about the status of her relationship with bad-boy Chris Brown, Karrueche Tran (unsurprisingly) refused to confirm that things were over between them for good.

What a fool. Some women just love being doormats.

Not even taking into account that he beat-up a woman in the past, this is a guy who: dumped her for his ex-girlfriend, returned to her when things between him and his ex didn’t work out, has insulted her on social media and blasted information about their private life on there…and has now fathered a child with another woman.

No doubt Chris has been back in touch with Karrueche, messing with her emotions so she has trouble moving on or is reluctant to date anyone else. Meanwhile, he is probably playing the field, while she mistakenly believes that he is grieving over her.

Some of Rihanna’s hoe-ish antics may be a little questionable, but at least Rihanna was smart/boss enough to get rid of that loser, once and for all.

Why ANY woman would go for this revolting creature in the first place is beyond me. He’s not even pleasant to look at and has no idea how to treat people. I guess fame and money can work wonders when you’re chasing tail.

Rihanna/Karrueche Tran. These two are not the only female celebrities (or indeed, females) who have struggled to cut ties with a destructive ex.

Katy Perry. Selena Gomez. Kelly Brook. Nicole Scherzinger. What do all these women have in common, aside from being tabloid favourites?

They keep going back to questionable men, or reignite previously failed relationships.

So, why exactly do women have trouble letting go of a guy who they’ve broken up with, time and time again? Why do they find it so hard to let go, despite all logic screaming that this guy is no good for them?

I think I know why.

You see, sometimes you can be damn well aware that for, whatever reason, a relationship between the two of you just doesn’t work. You accept it, start to move on even.

But then you start to see them moving on too...which includes them dating and seeing other women.

All of a sudden you’re territorial. You don’t want him…but you don’t want anyone else to have him either.

It’s classic behavioural psychology. I know because even I’ve experienced it. At this point, girls usually crack and get in touch with their ex... or respond if their ex has been in touch.

However, it’s worth sticking to your guns as those jealous, possessive feelings will pass and you soon go right back to not caring and being glad the relationship is over.

Trust me, you don’t want him, you want the potential that was there….potential that now, it seems, is someone else’s. They get their chance to have the perfect, loving relationship that you wanted.

Some pictures really should remain private. Just saying.
[Instagram: Karrueche Tran]
It’s even worse if you haven’t had much luck back out in the dating world, and have struggled to find someone you click/feel chemistry with. It’s tempting to go back to a familiar situation.

So let me suggest a very simple method to strengthen your resolve: focus on his flaws.

I’m not talking about petty, minor things. I’m talking about disrespectful dealbreakers.

Reminding yourself of what was a train-wreck of a relationship should be of some comfort to you, because it reminds you of the very real and solid reasons why you broke up…and why you should stay broken up.

You have to draw the line somewhere. Why revisit a miserable situation with a selfish ex that put you low on his list of priorities, crapped all over your feelings and disrespected you time and time again?

Even if they reach out to you in some way (something that is harder to avoid, thanks to social media), it doesn’t really mean much. The issues are still there, and more than likely will be there in this guy’s new relationship… so it really isn’t much of a loss.

Don’t get drawn back into such an unhealthy, emotionally draining situation. Re-divert that energy into looking after yourself and being open and available to meeting someone who will actually treat you well and appreciate you.

Trust me, there are men who would KILL to have a woman who loves them the way you think you love your ex. Isn’t that the type of guy more deserving of your love?

Besides, these on/off, light switch relationships rarely work-out in the long term. Some men just don’t have it in them to be a decent boyfriend. That’s their issue, don’t make it yours.

Sophie Ellis-Bextor-image
Sophie Ellis-Bextor says "See ya!" with sass...
[From SEllisBextorVEVO - "Get Over You"]

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