Wednesday, 15 April 2015

The Difference Between Men & Women

Pre-warning: this post contains high levels of cynicism.

You sometimes hear females saying "Oh, I have more male than female friends... I just get on better with guys".

Well, we all know my view on "platonic" relationships between males and females (i.e. impossible, unless you find each other unattractive or if one/both of you are in a relationship), but let’s explore the difference between men and women, and the dynamics of their relationships.


I think it’s fair to say that male friendships come with less pettiness, drama and bitching than female friendships.

Guys can have full-on fist fights with one another, and then be cool and go for a beer together a week later. They tend to not hold grudges.

Women, however, will sulk and do passive aggressive things when they have a disagreement with someone, instead of having an open discussion like an adult and resolving the issue. If/when they eventually get over it, they will often sweep everything under the rug and act like nothing happened, while silently holding onto a tiny bit of resentment.

Sounds healthy.

The problem with these types of friendships is that they’re not real ones, as any issues between the two of you haven't been properly addressed and resolved.

These are the types of friends I tend to cut-out. I just don’t have the time or energy to indulge in fake friendships. The way I see it, a genuine friendship can survive a disagreement.

Of-course, you also get the mega-confrontational girls with too much confidence and attitude. Confront them, and you’re likely to end up in a cat fight or they run their mouth. These types of women tend to scare a lot of their friends away. I don’t know much about that though as (thankfully) I’ve never formed friendships with girls like that.

Dating & Relationships

It’s definitely a lot easier for men to find a woman looking for a relationship: for every one guy that’s looking for commitment, there are about ten women.

This has led to the phenomenon of men juggling multiple women that they chat to, while they assess which one they really want, or which woman is the best who will have him. This is largely based on how attractive the female is.

Men also like to spend their youth being unattached and having fun (i.e being a slut), until they’re ready to settle down. Once this happens, you’ll find things move along very quickly (as in, all the stages of commitment), with very little coercion required from the female. Meanwhile, a guy could have had a girlfriend for years prior to that, who he refused to properly commit to.

The majority of women, on the other hand, are ready for a relationship as soon as they meet a guy they like. I did meet a girl who struggled to stay faithful to her boyfriend when I was travelling. I think she just had a high-sex drive though.

Some women have also started taking the same multi-dating approach as men. While there's nothing wrong with keeping your options open before exclusivity, it might explain why people are struggling to form long-lasting relationships these days. You’re less likely to bother compromise if there’s the possibility of a better option round the corner.

Although I must say, I have met women with unrealistic standards. Perhaps I’m one of them, the rate that I reject men. However, I reject men if I’m not attracted to them (even after I’ve tried to get to know them better), or if I’m getting player vibes off them. Some women reject guys over superficial things such as their job etc.

But for the most part, I see women settling for anyone they can get. They are more likely to give something a chance, even if they initially don’t feel a spark, as women recognise how you can grow to like someone.

Perhaps it’s because women are more nurturing. Women tend to be a lot more forgiving if a potential mate has had a fraught or unconventional past, too. 

A man, on the other hand, if (for example) he finds a girl has few friends, comes from a broken home etc, it will be off-putting because he’s weary of the additional responsibility.

I do sometimes wonder if some women prefer a guy who doesn't have many friends or close family members, perhaps secretly encouraging co-dependency because in their fantasy, being the one constant in a guy’s life gives them a sense of security.

They enjoy being a guy's saviour because they have their own selfish motives, such as the payoff and attachment that comes when a guy is grateful that you were there for him. It's especially interesting seeing this nurturing behaviour in females if it's a strong contrast to how they treat their friends. That's when you know if it's genuine or not.


Generally, men can move on quickly from a break up…probably because they checked-out of the relationship (and have probably started looking at other girls at this point), long before they officially broke things off.

Meanwhile, women grieve, obsess and mope, analysing the situation to death.


Anyway, those are just a few differences I’ve observed between the sexes. With such a negative view of people, think it’s fair to say I’m not much of a people person anymore.

Ahh well - the price of being observant.

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