Sunday, 8 March 2015

Curry-Related Brown People Problems

"When you open a tub of margarine and
there's daal inside instead :-/ "
My posts have been a bit depressing of late, so I’m going to try and lighten the mood.

Curry. As a British-Asian person, you grow up eating it just as much as (if not more than) English food, which then always seems so bland and simple in comparison.

You crave it if you go a few days without it but similarly, you body (specifically your digestive system, if you’re of a sensitive disposition) protests if you eat curry all the time.

It’s not just us Asians who like a good curry: an "Indian" regularly tops polls as the nation’s favourite takeaway.

I watched a documentary once which outlined that during the wave of migration that hit the UK in the 70s, back when us ethnics were somewhat welcome here, there was a general pattern of the employment route each ethnic minority took: Indians went down the GP route; Pakistani people went down the corner shop/taxi driver route.

But guess who were the ones setting up restaurants? That’s right…the Bangladeshi immigrants.

So, even though people thought they were going for an "Indian", they were ACTUALLY going for a "Bengali".

Doesn’t have the same ring to it though, does it?

But while I do kinda take pride in the fact that it’s actually my people who brought curry to the UK mainstream (yes fellow curry-munchers, you are more than welcome), an association with curry, a staple in your average South-Asian person’s diet, does have its drawbacks.

For example:

1) When you go downstairs for breakfast, and you’re greeted with this sight first thing in the morning:


Hey, like any other complex dish, I guess some prep is involved.

2) When the bus/train/tube smells of curry, and you’re paranoid it’s you, because of them five pans of curry your mum cooked last night…maybe we didn’t air out the house as well as we thought? :-/

3) When someone in the office eats curry for lunch, it stinks out the whole office and everyone naturally assumes you’re the culprit (thankfully, usually the offender proudly owns up, especially if they braved a particularly spicy curry).

4) Having to deal with white people fondly recounting to you that one time that they had an AMAZING curry.

5) When no matter how many times you watch your mum do it or even write the method down, your attempts at making a curry just end up being a bland, watery tasteless mess.

6) Being down the road from your house and knowing what’s for dinner (hutki-shira tonight, ;-P)

Ahh curry. Can’t live with it, can’t live without it.

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