Saturday, 28 February 2015

Single, Not Lonely

So, this video is doing the rounds on the internet:
Oh dear. (You can watch the rest of the videos on the Twitter page this video comes from)

Seeing stuff like this makes me wonder how people like that even manage to get into relationships in the first place. It also confirms that avoiding relationships seems like a wise move on my part; people are just too freakin’ horrible to each other, man.

I say "relationships" but really, most guys who show an interest in me are only looking for a "relationship" of the "hooking-up only" variety. Which ain’t really my thing.

As such, it's a case of "I don't need a guy, thanks for stopping by".

I do sometimes wonder if I’m being a little hasty, rejecting these guys before I even give them a proper chance (some of them have been pretty hot as well).

But to be honest, I just cannot be bothered with the drama. The slightest hint of prickish behaviour and I shut the situation down. I get player vibes from most of these guys, or they seem really flaky and unreliable. Why entertain it? Life has enough headaches and drama.

Am I the only one who isn't actively chasing a relationship, even letting potential situations pass by and preferring to let it happen (properly) when it happens?

I’ve had some experience with boys and relationships now, which I'm grateful for as I’ve had some fun times, learnt a lot about men etc. So now I'm making other things a priority.

Don’t get me wrong, I still date and chat to guys. I just get out of the situation if any red flags crop up. As I get older, I’m listening to my gut feeling instead of ignoring it. Where I would previously have given people the benefit of the doubt, I'm now walking away to save myself the potential drama.

Besides, I’m having way too much fun being single - the freedom of not having someone else to consider and make time for... the girly holiday/nights out planning and being free to meet new people. I also find I’m a lot more independent and focused when I’m not in a relationship.

I've gotten over a bad relationship and other draining situations and now my life is a lot more peaceful. I like it like that and I'm very protective of it.

To be honest, I'm not even sure I have the time to dedicate to a relationship, between working and spending the majority of my free time promoting this site. Plus, relationships can be a distraction, especially if you're anything like me.

Not that I’m clingy, but there’s no denying that you have to make time for relationships. And when you're enjoying each other's company and you're in the loved up stages, when two days feels like two hours, it can get time consuming.

Jesus, I sound like your typical commitment-phobic male.

I’m not ruling out relationships for the rest of my life. Trust me, I’m not the relationship/man-hater that everyone seems to think I am: love, when done properly, is a beautiful thing. I’m just not going to entertain anything now unless it’s the real deal.

‘It’s wonderful to be in love,’ she says quietly. ‘That state when you’re glad to see somebody and they make you laugh and you just like being with them.’ - Dame Judi Dench, talking about The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

I'm not necessarily talking about racing to the aisle either. No, what I’m talking about is a healthy relationship of mutual support that brings value to both of our lives. I think that’s worth waiting for, even if it means being single for ages.

You never know who you might meet or what might happen tomorrow.

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