Sunday, 14 December 2014

How To Win A Break Up

I’ve never been a massive fan of social media and find excessive use unhealthy, seeing those who engage in social networking so heavily as sheep who will quickly move onto the next fad once they tire of the current one.

You know the types, who can no longer live in the moment without simultaneously updating their Facebook/Twitter/Instagram pages.

CC image courtesy of Alex Bellink on Flickr
However, when you’re dealing with someone who shattered your heart or treated you like cr*p, as petty as it is, social media can be a handy tool to provide visual evidence of everything your ex is missing out on. Especially if your ex is the type who still likes to play mind games, who will throw breadcrumbs your way with random contact but still doesn’t know what they want.

No longer entertaining that rubbish, whilst showing off the better, happier you can prove a point way more effectively than words or conversations ever could.

That’s my personal opinion anyway. If people are trying to play games with you, if you’re smart enough and can strategize, why not play them at their own game…and win?

When it comes to unrequited love and breakups, instead of moping for an extended period of time, take the Kate Middleton approach: looking good, going out, trying new things, meeting new people and enjoying life. Not only will your older self thank you for it as you focus your energy on bettering yourself and on self-improvement, but you automatically come across as a more attractive person who is getting their sh*t together - which people gravitate towards. Thus, helping you move on. And hey, if you happen to take a few snaps along the way that illustrate this, why not show them off?
Everyone else is, and that seems to be the main way people understand a point you're trying to make these days. It’s sad, and I wish it wasn’t like that, but there’s a certain satisfaction in engaging in this mindless behaviour, when all other communication has failed, knowing that the brainless ex of yours will lap it right up; absorbing a false, constructed perception.

I can wholeheartedly vouch for the effectiveness of this method, given how those exes predictably come sniffing around again, making references to stuff I've posted online. So I guess this is my way of putting on a brave face after a split.

What do you think? What’s the best (and most mature) way to handle a breakup? Flaunt that you’re over it and having a fab time? Or go cold turkey on social media, uphold your privacy and have the air of mystery?

I’m of the personal opinion that those people who are too busy to engage in social media are actually the real winners in life, so that’s one advantage of ghosting on social media. You don’t follow the crowd, and by simply not having the time to update on social media it illustrates that you’re too busy having a good time or focusing on better things.

Another drawback of this bragging-on-social-media method is that it’s very easy to get carried away constructing an image: appearing too happy, too soon can look false and people and see right through it. Also, this excessive social media use makes it harder to resist the urge to stalk your ex as you engage so heavily online…so if you see that they’re also living it up, having a good time, flirting with others and moving on, it might put you in a sour mood for a while.

At the end of the day, I do think taking a break from social media to make a clean break is sometimes the best course of action to move on from a failed relationship, especially if your ex is a heavy user. It’s not as simple as removing and blocking people from your friends list anymore, as these days there is a lot more information available publicly.

Ultimately, letting the situation go, finding someone else as well as new interests and friends, and building yourself a happy new life is the best revenge on someone who hurt you the most: "The best revenge is a life well lived", as the saying goes.

Whether you should rub it in that person’s face or not via social media however, I’m still undecided about. But I must admit, when I met someone new, someone who was a pleasure to talk to and I felt was more on my wavelength, and this particular guy didn’t hold back with the compliments and initiating flirty banter for the world (and my ex) to see…well, that was just the cherry on top.

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