Sunday, 15 January 2017

New Year’s Resolutions 2017

You know you’re really basic when you participate in this whole "New Year, New Me" phenomenon.

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Image credit: schroederhund
However, last year was a bit of a mixed-bag for me – some really fun experiences, but also some emotionally-draining circumstances. The last week of the year for me was especially eventful and reflected this pattern. Luckily, the year did end on a good note, which felt like an opportune time to mark a fresh start.

So on that note, here are some areas I want to focus on:

1) Be more selfish – By this, I mean I want to put less effort into pleasing other people, and more effort into myself and doing things that make ME happy.

For example, I’ve found as my social circle has expanded, as have the opportunities to socialise. And don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful to have found a lovely little group of people to hang out with; It’s rare to find people who appreciate the amount of effort you put into a friendship, and who reciprocate. I really shouldn’t take them for granted.

However, spending too much time with anyone will lead to irritation. And I’m that type person who goes a bit crazy if I don’t have a certain amount of alone time.

I think this is a result of having spent a period of time not getting out much (due to not having many friends to hang out with). In situations like that, you find ways to keep yourself occupied. You get used to your own company and I guess old habits die hard.

Now, I’ve met people who are as eager and willing to socialise. But it’s good to find a balance. I’m learning to turn down invites, if participating means it’ll be a drain on my time, finances and energy.

Sunday, 1 January 2017

"It’s the Most Wonderful Depressing Time of the Year..."

As 2016 officially comes to a close, it has left many people reflecting on what seems to have been a turbulent year for most.

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Images credit: milivanily
Special occasions, although usually a cause to celebrate, are generally a super depressing time for people. In addition to birthdays, Valentine’s Day etc. where there are all these expectations to celebrate in style, this festive time of year can also put pressure on people to mark the occasion somehow, therefore magnifying feelings of loneliness if people have no party invites.

Even those spending the holidays with their families find that this too comes with its own stresses: the expense of buying presents and the pressures of hosting a family get together, made all the more difficult if there are tense relations between relatives.

Luckily, I come from a culture that doesn’t really celebrate Christmas, so it’s one less thing to stress about. However, my mother had a stint in hospital from Christmas Eve onwards, so I too ended up having to spend time with family members who I’d really rather avoid. I then had to deal with various household mishaps, not to mention a bunch of health-related errands and appointments I had to tend to.

With all these stressful incidents, it wasn’t exactly the relaxing break I was hoping for.

As such, I haven’t been in the best mood this holiday, instead finding everyone and everything annoying. Any spare time I’ve managed to salvage, I’ve spent retreating to my room until this bad mood passes.

Sunday, 11 December 2016

Why Women Can't Resist Bad Boys

My impatience, frustration and general disdain for men is pretty well-documented.

However, I’m one for balanced perspectives and even I can recognise women can be equally as frustrating to men, especially when it comes to dating.
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Image credit: OpenClipart-Vectors

I've touched on a similar topic before. Often, you have decent guys ready for a relationship, scratching their head as to why a woman is giving mixed signals. Maybe she responds to your contact, but never initiates. Maybe you had an amazing first date, the girl seemed interested but she’s difficult to pin down for a second date, constantly saying she’s "busy".

In some cases, a girl may actually be interested but just doesn’t want to look desperate. I personally can like a guy, but will hold-off initiating too much contact in the early stages as I prefer to take things slowly. Also, I guess I like to gauge his interest level and an easy way to do that is by seeing how often he initiates contact. I will, however, respond enthusiastically to contact and date requests.

However, if a woman isn’t making any real effort  to see or speak to you, if conversations taper off into nothing, then her ambivalence is most likely due to her half-hearted interest in either you, or in dating and relationships in general.

Women are often at the receiving end of this type of behaviour from men, and are frequently (and often, brutally) told: He’s Just Not That Into You.

However, guys tend to be treated a lot more delicately. So much so, it’s perplexing to them. Hey, if a guy has made it clear he’s single and ready for a relationship but a girl isn’t biting… clearly she has issues of some sort, right?

Sunday, 20 November 2016

Emotional vs. Physical Attraction

It’s often said that if a woman is inclined to cheat, it’s because her emotional needs are not being met. On the flip side, if men cheat it’s because their sexual needs are not being met.

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Image credit: Unsplash
Now obviously, this isn’t a hard and fast (excuse the pun 😉) rule, but I think it’s fair to say that women tend to be more enthusiastic about entering a relationship compared to men.

This is what causes a lot of dating woes – a mutual attraction between two people, but not exactly a meeting of minds when it comes to what they’re looking for in the opposite sex. Therefore, dating can be equally frustrating for all parties involved.

Generally speaking though, it’s usually pretty obvious if a guy you’re dating falls into the "serious" or "casual" category. A guy that’s not really looking for anything long-term isn’t, for example, going to ask you too many personal questions. He’ll avoid delving into deep and personal topics, and conversations are quite superficial in nature. When you meet up, it tends to be last minute. Fun and non-committal, kind of thing.

This was a situation I was confronted with when I reconnected with a blast from the past recently.

Monday, 17 October 2016

What Feminism Means To Me

"...even when I'm a mess
Still put on a vest
With an "S" on my chest
Oh yes,
I'm a Superwoman." [Alicia Keys]

These lyrics come from a lovely, underrated song by singer/songwriter Alicia Keys.

Incidentally, the song title "Superwoman" is also the moniker of mega-successful YouTuber Lilly Singh, who has successfully carved out a career in the digital industry, and someone I personally find an inspiration.

I don't usually subscribe to celeb-endorsed products/merchandise, but this girl's accomplishments, maturity and outlook on life are incredibly admirable, she brings out the hardcore fan in me.

Singh has also dedicated her time to advocate "Girl Love", a movement which is all about empowering and enriching the lives of other women. And I’m all about that.

A photo posted by Lilly (@iisuperwomanii) on


Because the truth is, being a woman is tough. That’s why it’s so important for women to support and celebrate each other.

Sunday, 28 August 2016

When Life Gets Tough, Stay Positive

"How do you stay positive in a world that is such a negative and hateful place?"

We all have bad days where we come across everyday obstacles and challenges, not to mention people or situations that really test our patience and lead us to lose faith in people and the world around us.

But when it’s getting to point where a bad day has turned into a bad week…then a bad month, it’s time to take a step back and re-evaluate your circumstances and more importantly, your mindset.

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Image credit: Maialisa
I’m not trying to minimise people’s problems. Trust me, I know how much it sucks when it seems like every aspect of your life is going wrong, causing you to feel helpless, stressed and overwhelmed; when life feels like a long, lonely journey with no relief in sight.

Life can be tough man, what with stressful jobs, financial instability, crappy living situations, disappointing relationships, unreliable friends and rubbish support networks.

But the truth is, everyone has problems. No one’s life is peachy, all of the time. Everyone has stresses, worries and concerns. Granted, some people’s problems or circumstances may be more extreme than others. But generally, if it seems like some people are happier than others then it’s because there’s a difference in how they deal with things.

Some of the strongest, seemingly happiest-on-the-surface people have had the most traumatic experiences. They’ve just learnt how to handle and overcome setbacks.

Sunday, 7 August 2016

Confused Trailers: Suicide Squad

I’m not a massive fan of Hollywood comic book franchises so I’ve never had a strong desire, for example, to see the latest revamp of the Batman, Superman or Spiderman movies.

If I’ve gone to see them in the past, it’s because I’ve wanted to be a good sport and accompanied dates or friends who are really into those types of films. Truthfully, I’ve always ended up zoning out during the films, not really fully engaged. It’s been an entertaining couple of hours, but nothing life changing or something I’d watch again.

However, I caught this initial Suicide Squad trailer about a year ago:



I actually thought the movie looked interesting and was looking forward to catching it when it came out, even though I don’t usually pay attention to American superhero films.

It’s now a year later, and the film is now due to be released (it actually dropped nationwide in the UK on Friday). But I was left a little confused at the way the film had been savaged by critics...from what I saw of the trailer, it looked like a dark and interesting film with a decent back-story to it.

But with all the recent press and promotion surrounding the movie’s impending release, it was hard to miss the latest version of the trailer. Suddenly, the bad reviews made sense: